37.

so

grateful

.

36.

the indian saw the butterfly

rise out of the ocean

that was enough for him

the butterfly had wings, freedom

the indian saw flowers in spring

push up out of the ground

he saw the rain and the thunder

they were enough for him

and he saw the sun

but he didn't worship the sun

for him the sun was a sign, a symbol

he bowed in prayer to what was behind the sun

he made songs and dances to the maker and the mover of the sun

- carl sandburg

(with two slight alterations by me... can I do that?)

35.

... and I press on...

-paul

34.

"This moment contains all moments"

- The Great Divorce

33.

"Affliction comes to all not to make us sad, but sober

Not to make us sorry, but wise,

not to make us despondent,

but its darkness to refresh us as the night refreshes the day

not to impoverish, but to enrich us

as the plow enriches the field"

- Henry Ward Beecher

32.

I am a building

room after room

very much so different

stacked above

supporting below

halls and stairwells

that sound?

tap dancing from apartment 7

#2 leaves her door open every time she goes for the mail

sometimes I sneak a peek

houseplants, a chair losing it's stuffing, one rainboot

smelled like patchouli

I wish apartment 5 would stop setting the fire alarm off

We all suffer then

#8 lights up the night, all night, lights on

I never see the tenant from # 11

There isn't a smell yet

The cat always needs returning to apartment 3

an old dear, so forgetful

full of cough drops and bible verses

The longest showers that drain the hot water tank: #10

I sit on the roof

keepin the lid on

keep on keepin on

lid on

31.

how long...

how wide...

how deep...

how high...

30.

"I know why God left this aching void - for himself to fill."

- Frank Laubach, Practicing His Presence

29.

and I will rejoice

and be glad!

28.

"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away."

- George Eliot

27.

"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us when adversity takes the place of prosperity when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts."

--Washington Irving

26.

25.

"I now know, Lord, why you utter no answer.

You are, yourself, the answer."

- C.S. Lewis, "Till We Have Faces"

24.

"Fear is a thief.

It erodes our faith,

plunders our hope,

steals our freedom,

and takes away our joy

of living the abundant life in Christ."

- Neil Anderson, from his book Freedom from Fear

"... but I am among you as one who serves..."

-jesus

luke 22.27

23.

Be who you are and say what you feel,

because those who mind don't matter

and those who matter don't mind.

~Dr. Seuss

22.

"A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?"

- Robert Browning

21.

"The depth is simply the height inverted, as sin is the index of moral grandeur. The cry is not only truly human, but divine as well. God is deeper than the deepest depth in man. He is holier than our deepest sin is deep. There is no depth so deep to us as when God reveals his holiness in dealing with our sin... And so think more of the depth of God than the depth of your cry. The worst thing that can happen to a man is to have no God to cry to out of the depth."

P.T. Forsyth

20.

We are a servant
We have a song
The side of a beehive
A tabernacle choir

We are the sound
Working in wars
The bishop is gone
To the acolyte shores

We save our Bibles
We pull our sleeves
The word is a guard
And the guard is a cleave

We are the right
We are the stay
The accolade's gone
We are what You say

We have no language
We have no chore
The side of a beehive
The bride is a whore

We are a spite
We are at bay
The Spirit is life
We are what You say

We have a sermon
We have a song
The bishop is easy
The bishop is wrong

The Spirit is right
The Spirit will say
We are a light
We are what You say

- Sufjan Stevens

19.

needed to be creative tonight... nothing like paper bags and crayons!

18.

17.

"The fact that I'm a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian,

but the fact that I'm a Christian makes me a different kind of woman..."

- Elisabeth Elliot

Something very new is happening inside of me - I'm appreciating the female race.

Tonight I experienced what it's like for women to create healthy community that was centered on knowing and pursuing Christ and each other. It was so real, so creative, and so inviting.

Slowly, but surely, God is easing me into making peace and seeing the strength in my gender

16.

"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered...

forgive them anyway

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives...

be kind anyway

If you are successful, you will some false friends and true enemies...

succeed anyway

If you are honest and sincere, people may cheat you...

be honest and sincere anyway

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight...

build anyway

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous...

be happy anyway

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow...

do good anyway

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough...

give the world the best you've got anyway

You see, in the final analysis, it's all between you and God...

it was never between you and them anyway"

- the Paradoxical Commandments found painted on the wall outside of Mother Theresa's children's home in Calcutta

15.

"It has been my philosophy of life that difficulties vanish when faced boldly"

- Isaac Asimov

I actually find very little assurance or motivation from this quote. Today I find myself once again surrounded on all sides with said difficulties and as much as I will myself to "put on my game face" and muster up my courage, I am not confident. Not in myself. Not anymore.

Honestly, I'd rather not see my problems shrink to the point where I can handle them.

I'd rather see God rise up and overwhelm them.

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed... so we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

14.

Loyal coffee shop companion.

I really need to start taking pictures of my new home...

but I've been looking forward to posting this one for some time now.

13.

12.

Beautiful,

Beautiful, beautiful,

Beautiful Boy,

Before you go to sleep,

Say a little prayer,

Every day in every way,

It's getting better and better,

Beautiful,

Beautiful, beautiful,

Beautiful Boy,

Before you cross the street,

Take my hand,

Life is just what happens to you,

While your busy making other plans,

Beautiful,

Beautiful, beautiful,

Beautiful Boy

- lennon

11.

goodbye

hello

10.

New packing technique: Organize clothes into piles by type (i.e. long sleeved shirts, skirts, etc) Then allow yourself to choose one and only one item from each pile. This reveals the essentials of your wardrobe. I found it most helpful and extremely simplifying. My wardrobe essentials have proven to be:

- red wool sweater

- black underarmor shirt

- favorite faded jeans

- yellow hemp shirt from Bethany

- grey cardigan

- green doorknob skirt

- work out pants

- black fleece jacket

- pea green hat

- black long underwear

- smart wool socks

- mom's purple down vest

- blue baseball t-shirt

- striped jammies

And there we have it! I'm packed!

if only...

However, it wasn't as overwhelming as I thought it would to sort through all my stuff, box up what I'm leaving behind, and pack what I'm taking with. Here is my "time to consolidate" look. It comes out every 4 months or so. With a vengeance! Look out closet!

9.

This really has nothing to do

with you

How dare you.

He. Hurting.

I. Can't fix it.

Not really.

Ache away.

It's not about me anyway.

But I'm all I can think about.

I want to know about sad.

What kind is it?

The exhausting sort.

So well mixed in, my hands move.

Like a reflex that my mind knows is coming.

It overrides

the urge to jump.

That's your voice to me

I went to hang your coat up

today

It was wet.

We have lonely hands.

8.

Undeserving I am.

7.

Things are about to change for me. Or are they? I'm only speaking of my surroundings. But it is those surroundings that make up my life. I'm preparing myself for the unfamiliar... by taking in, for one last ever-so-deep, look. My roots are being exposed once again - pulled up out of this sweet smelling earth.

Transplant me.

"When the music changes,

so does the dance."

- African proverb

I will soon be soon be an unfamiliar face, surrounded by unfamiliar faces.

But I've done this before. It was a different dance, to a different song.

But it was still a dance.

A song.

And I don't dance alone.

Community is to be found. To be joined. To be created.

6.

R: "Do you have any lovies?"

Me: "Uhm... what are lovies?"

R: "You know, lovies. You rub them on your face like this

(balls up hands and mashes them into her nose)

"They're nice when you cry."

Me: "Oh. Lovies. Well, yes."

5.

maggie and millie and molly and may went down to the beach (to play one day) and maggie discovered a shell that sang so sweetly she couldn't remember her troubles, and millie befriended a stranded star who's rays five languid fingers were; and molly was chased by a horrible thing which raced sideways while blowing bubbles: and may came home with a smooth round stone as small as a world and as large as alone. For whatever we lose (like a you or a me) it's always ourselves we find in the sea.”

- E. E. Cummings

4.

"I will live my life as a lobsterman's wife on an island in the blue bay.

He will take care of me, he will smell like the sea,

And close to my heart he'll always stay."

- Ingrid Michaelson

3.

One day you'll find that I have gone
But tomorrow may rain,
so I'll follow the sun
But tomorrow may rain,
so I'll follow the sun

And now the time has come
and, my love, I must go
And though I lose a friend
In the end you will know, oh

One day you'll find that I have gone
But tomorrow may rain,
so I'll follow the sun

- the beatles

2.

"...if I'm a crown without a king, if I'm a broken open seed

if I come without a thing, then I come with all I need..."

- mewithoutyou