One of the reasons I've never advertised this blog was to relieve the sense of pressure I feel to perform to a certain standard or consistently produce in a manner that is predictable and dependable. If people found out I had a blog, they would expect me to keep it fresh and updated, interesting and relevant. And I don't want to. Reason one: I'm lazy. Reason two: I'm more honest if I'm not scrambling to create what I think others might be expecting me to create.

Therefore, I'm disbanding the formerly posed photo challenge. It was fun to try, but I lost the cord that connects my camera to my computer for a period of 5 months, which put a significant damper on my uploading of pictures. However, I moved from my old apartment and in the move I unearthed the cord! So I could be back in business. But I lost momentum a long time ago.

Here is what I'd like to transition into with this blog... now that this new season of life called "College" has begun, I'd really like to use this as an outlet for my heart which is feeling pretty left out in the flurry of polyatomic ion flash cards, psychology papers, and Kierkegaard's perspective on despair.

I will still post pictures. Let's be honest - a blog without pictures is as boring as low sodium saltines. The change is that I am going to contribute a bit more of myself. I'm ready to start being visible again. Here's the challenge in this: I really hate that the nature of blogs is rooted in "me". The readers of blogs are forced to put up with my voice, my thoughts, my frustrations, my dreams, me me me me me me me. Gross. But on the other hand, I have been turning more and more into an introvert and am tending to err on the isolated state of being for reasons I might get the guts to admit someday.

So (do you have reader's whiplash yet?), I'm aiming for a balance here. Not too much, not too little. I just want to share myself, but I want to do it honestly. Not romantic, not idealistic, not polished pictures of perfection. Not narcissistic or pathetic propaganda. And also not despairing or degrading diatribes... just truly as is. If real and translucent vulnerability is what I strive for, then I don't think we'll have to wade through any of the above mentioned flack and filler. That would be a relief to all.

And, as my friends, you are invited to join. Speak out that honest noise! I'd love to show some scars, but not to simply focus on the injury that caused them, I want to share the process that healed them! Tears of pain, tears of joy - let 'em mingle! Let's make some tracks together, in the woods, on the shore, on the ceiling, in our hearts, in the present, in the boots of others, and always concluding with a warm sudsy foot washing together.